In the Life of an Introvert …

If you are an introvert, this post is for you. If you are also a personal trainer, this post is definitely for you.

Unfortunately, I did  not grow up with the understanding that I am an introvert.  I spent all of my life feeling “quirky” and “separate” (my fellow introverts probably understand what I mean by “separate”).  One day, last year, a friend sent me a funny comic titled “Guide to Understanding the Introverted.”  My mind was blown!

You see, I’ve since discovered that I am a INFJ personality type (I took the personality test 3 different times, on different days).  INFJ’s are the rarest personality type, making up only 1% of the population.  My Mom is also an INFJ!  So, I’m pretty sure my DNA cannot be changed, nor would I want it to be.  Being an introvert is strangely awesome (now that I know!).

It is like getting a front row seat to your favorite movie, watching the world, in a human sized hamster ball.

However, introversion is not so awesome, when interaction requires an immediate response, “breaching the bubble,” for long periods of time.  Introverts are thoughtful. “We’re not quick thinkers, but rather deep(er) thinkers” (Klass, 2015).

Some great humanitarians were INFJ personality types: Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela (I don’t know how anyone knows this but they are listed here).

Being an introvert is certainly interesting.  I am proud of the depth of my personality.  I have and “an inborn sense of idealism and morality.” I have a “yearning for authenticity and sincerity.”  I “seek people who share my passions, interests, and ideologies … people with whom I can explore philosophies and subjects that I believe are truly meaningful.” I am “insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of my idealism.”  To an INFJ, like myself, “the world is a place full of inequity,” in which my mind is always reeling to create balance and harmony.

If you’re like me, it’s easy to feel exhausted, and a much needed retreat to your introvert bubble is necessary, on daily basis. 

Believe it or not, there was a proposal to include introversion in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5).  Rest assured, it was rejected. Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., stated:

“In the case of a normal but distressed introvert, it may be more appropriate to diagnose a society that exhibits anxiety reactions when someone wants to be alone. Restoring normality is also the role of psychiatry.”

Knowledge is power, my fellow introverts. 

I spent many years working as a personal trainer because I LOVE fitness.  But, what I did not realize is that I love fitness in my bubble!  It is much more difficult to share it, face to face.

Everyone says, “take your passion and use it for good.”  Yes!  But, that does not mean it has to be face to face.  I THRIVE working from home on my lap top.  My best, most efficient, laser-focused work has always been done at home – I feel like a machine!

I still love fitness and I can coach online, which gives me the opportunity to reflect as deep as I need to, before I respond.

To create an environment where you can thrive professionally, you first have to know what conditions to put yourself in 😉

If you have not already done so, you can take the personality test here.

Guide to Understanding the Introverted

Good luck, fellow introverts!  Pass this along to every introvert you know, or anyone you suspect might be an introvert. There is a fascinating world of introversion waiting for you!

❤

Mel B.

 

 

 

 

Is Personal Training DISempowering You?

Are you paralyzed by all of the “do this” and “do that” surrounding diet and exercise?

Let me tell you, it’s really not that complicated.  Your body intuitively knows what to do, we just live in a society that encourages us to seek outside of ourselves for answers.  Stop dumping your power and personal responsibility.

First, I am not against personal training. Athletics would not be nearly as fun to watch without the great trainers of the world, and people would be hurting themselves constantly without instruction.  However, I am against displacing your power and personal responsibility onto anyone, but yourself.

This might hurt a bit, but bear with me.  Your body is YOUR responsibility.  You have every freedom to do whatever you want with it.  Take responsibility for your choices.  If you need help, get help.  But, do not rely on your trainer to fix you. That is NOT his or her responsibility. AND, you are more than capable of fixing you, I promise!

A hundred, or even fifty years ago, we did not have the “weight loss” frenzy we see today.  Today, people are not laboring outside like they used to, people LIVE to eat, rather than eat to live, bodies and minds are stressed and then we demand our bodies to look a certain way through diet pills and surgeries.  C’mon people, wake up!  It’s not the next diet fad, or personal trainer, or pill, or surgery that is going to fix you.  It is your ENVIRONMENT that needs fixing, and YOU alone control it.

Not everyone is going to love exercise and eat perfectly all the time, but stop complaining about what you have the power to control.  If you want a sustainable, high functioning mind and body, there is only one way to do that.  Your body is a natural product of your environment, and a reflection of your thoughts and attitudes.  Change your environment, change your life!

If you want to use a trainer for knowledge, YES! Do it!! If you want to use a trainer for motivation, yes! If you want to use a trainer for technical instruction, so you don’t hurt yourself, yes! But, do not use a trainer for hand holding, as if you are incapable of taking direction in your OWN life.  That is the greatest insult to your intelligence and competence.

Find a workout that is fun, makes you laugh, and moves your body until it sweats!  Don’t eat crap, especially in excess.  Eat NUTRITIOUS foods (food from nature, not a factory). Detox from the foods that don’t make you feel your best (you already know what they are!).  Get quality sleep, think positive thoughts and don’t compare yourself to others.  AND most importantly, LISTEN to your body.  It is speaking to you.  It’s really that simple, but don’t expect it to be easy.

Does this sound doable?  Whatever you choose to do, with or without a trainer, TAKE ACTION.  WORK HARD.  STAY FOCUSED.

Let’s hash this out.  Leave a comment if you agree or disagree.

How healthy is every aspect of your environment? What do you have access to?

 

 

Where was God yesterday?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

After the tragic events that occurred in Boston today (4/15/13), I am reminded of the love that surrounds us. It is evident in the way we seek each other; to know our loved ones are safe and to comfort each other. It is certainly evident in the men and women who show their courage to rescue the injured, risking their own safety.

Those who curse God for this happening, do not understand the Power He has given us all -our free will. God does not condone these acts.  He tells us how to act, yet there are some who don’t listen. We are free and there is a cost for our freedom.

It seems all too familiar, the deliberate destruction and harm inflicted by our fellow human beings, but who are they really? What do they have in common? They are all lost souls belonging to humanity, lacking a moral code or compass.

How do we promote this moral code? Rather than curse God, or become angry and bitter, we need to teach this moral code deliberately, especially to our children and even to the lost and forgotten.

God is waiting for us all to choose Him with our own free will.

“When evil men plot, good men  must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love.”

Commit yourself to the glories of love.

Single Moms: Does it ever feel like the Amazing Race?

Drum roll please ….

Here is your challenge:

You’re a single mom with  young school-age children. You can’t find enough stable income to save your life (even though you have a degree). You can make money on the weekends waitressing or something like it, but your ex refuses to take the kids on the weekends (with a few exceptions here and there) and you cannot afford a babysitter.  In addition, your ex is quick to tell you he thinks you “suck” and wishes you were dead, so it’s not likely you’ll work well together.  He has the kids 3 weeknights per week, takes good care of them on those nights, but he doesn’t pay any child support and you’re running out of options to support yourself and your kids.

What do you do? How do you get out of this?  First (and every) single mom to complete the task will be awarded 1 million dollars. GO!!

Anyone wanna play? I’m putting a team of single moms together now. Hit me up so we can talk strategy!

*full disclosure: individual performance will determine your award. A million dollars will not be awarded, but you’re likely to achieve a million dollars if you figure out how to conquer this challenge. I’m serious about the strategy session though. If you would like a free strategy session to conquer your “amazing race” challenge, send me a private message on Facebook.

 

My mission: “to help single moms maneuver the unique emotional and mental blocks that every single mom must inevitably face, to achieve financial freedom and create wealth in all areas of their life.”

Everyone can relate to living with an unhappy person, right? What would it be like to acknowledge that knowing and protect the happiness within you? Even if it’s only a tiny spark of happiness, imagine how it would grow if you nurtured it rather than tried to nurture someone else’s? Kinda like the air bag on an airplane?
When we are whole and complete (our natural infinite state of love and happiness), we’ll inspire (give breath) those around us and most certainly save a few lives indirectly, if not directly.
Great post by Bryan Reeves. So true!!

This Wild Waking Journey

The best gift you can give anyone is your own happiness. Surely by now you’ve discovered how exhausting it can be trying to make someone else happy. The best gift life ever gave me was a girlfriend I really wanted to be with who couldn’t be happy with me no matter what I tried to make her so. I bent myself this way and that to be who I didn’t want to be, said yes when dying to say no, and then said no when my chest ached to say yes. The result? Two unhappy people instead of just one. If I had been responsible enough to take care of my own happiness first, at least there would have been one satisfied person in our relationship.

A happy you is simply good for the planet.

The ripple effects of your own authentic happiness leaking out into the universe are infinitely…

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Say what!?

‘Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents’

This article posted in the NY Times really puts a hair across my you-know-what.  An Economics Professor says “there is growing evidence that sons raised by single mothers appear to fare particularly poorly.” The article does a very poor job convincing me of anything, never mind that single mom parenting is to blame.

From what I can tell, the biggest argument is that boys raised by single mothers are less likely to attend college than girls raised by single mothers, but there is zero evidence noted that these boys are earning less, despite what the title says.  Professor Autor says “male workers, whose earnings generally declined in recent decades, and female workers, whose earnings generally increased.” Could it be that there is less discrepancy between men and women in the workforce and women are winning jobs that were otherwise dominated by men 10-50 years ago?

Of course a single parent home is not ideal, but I don’t believe “single moms are causing boys not to graduate from college.”  At least, the evidence is certainly not strong enough in this article.

What strikes me about this article, including ‘Who Wears the Pants in this Economy‘ is that Professor Autor is not more concerned about the educational system that is failing us. Regardless of having a college degree, people are losing jobs left and right, a Bachelor’s degree is pretty much obsolete and the majority of America hasn’t a clue how to accumulate money. Furthermore, there is a long list of well-known millionaires and billionaires who never graduated college, so we certainly cannot assume that it takes a college education to create intelligence and financial security.

I would argue that a child’s environment is far more important than family status; the environment including their education at home and in school.  I believe a child is born with insatiable curiosity and our job as parents is to protect and nurture that curiosity.

The breakdown in families is only part of the problem because families who stick together are creating some dysfunctional kids too.  Dysfunction begins in the mind. It’s what breaks families up in the first place.  A curious, self-accepting inspired parent will produce a curious, self-accepting, inspired child, regardless of marital status.

A curious, self-accepting, inspired child will contribute positively to humanity, whether he goes to college or not.

I should mention that I do not deny the dysfunction that resides in the minds of some single moms (single parents).  I believe it’s scarcity mentality (in parents) that discourages learning and growth in children (and adults). The word ridiculous came to mind when I first read the article, but now I’m fascinated to learn more and help the single moms raising our boys and girls.  I’m not surprised that children of single parents fare worse, but not necessarily because of the family breakdown, rather the breakdown in the mind (that causes the family breakdown).

My mission: “to help single moms maneuver the unique emotional and mental blocks that every single mom must inevitably face, to achieve financial freedom and create wealth in all areas of their life.” 

Join me on Facebook!

Robert Kiyosaki: FREE seminar (worth your time?)

Yes!!

Despite the obvious sales pitch you know is coming, you absolutely want to attend this free financial education seminar (if for nothing else) for any financial nuggets of information that you can gather!

As the leader of Single Moms for Financial Freedom, I feel it is my duty to inform myself of all the good, bad and the ugly out there, as it relates to money. A few hours before the seminar, I caught myself hemming and hawing about whether I should go or not.  I wondered how much I could really learn at a *free* seminar.

It’s not necessarily what I learned that I find valuable, it’s the ACTION of going to learn that inspires me because no one is going to take control of my finances besides me. I am the head of my household and presumably you are too.  “No one, certainly not the government, is going to do it for you” and “there is no fairness when it comes to money. You’re either a winner or a loser.”

Get in the game!

“Making money in America is a game.” Do you want to step up and play or sit on the sidelines as second or third string or maybe not on the bench at all?

If you want to get in the game, you NEED “multiple streams of income.” The problem with a J.O.B. is that it only provides ONE stream of income and when your employment ends (termination, sickness, injury, resignation), so does your cash flow.

In the Rich Dad Poor Dad (RDPD) seminar, they talked a lot about the lack-thereof financial education in school and how humanity is paying the price for that, which is indicated by the alarming of number of elderly people forced back into the workforce.  Is that the kind of life you want for your elderly parent, yourself or even your children? Man, I wish I had someone to teach me about money when I was little, but it’s never too late!

If you’re interested in Real Estate investing, then this seminar is DEFINITELY for you.  The “pitch” is a 3 day (all-day) financial workshop covering foreclosures, REO’s (Real Estate Owned), commercial R.E., vacant land, multi-unit buildings, asset protection, money sources and exit strategies.

The RDPD Trainer Melvin Rich talked about “how to buy bank owned homes” and “contract assignments.” Of course, he didn’t tell us how to do it, but that’s the hook and it’s a pretty enticing one too! Unfortunately, I know nothing about Real Estate, but I know enough to capitalize on opportunity and seize every learning opportunity I get!  The investment for the weekend is minimal at $199 for the weekend and I am fairly confident that I’ll learn a financial golden nugget or two or three even if I never end up investing in real estate.

If you want to be rich, study rich people. If you want to gain money consciousness, hang around with people who have money consciousness.  The last thing you want to do is let your broke friends tell you it’s not worth going or it’s not worth learning something new!  It’ll likely take a 100,000 pieces of sand for you to break through to financial freedom, but every piece of knowledge is a few pieces of sand, maybe more depending on how you apply it.

Stay inspired. Stay curious!

Melanie

My mission: “to help single moms maneuver the unique emotional and mental blocks that every single mom must inevitably face, to achieve financial freedom and create wealth in all areas of their life.” 

Join me on Facebook!

“Moments of Love”

Have you ever created something that you were really proud of and then subconsciously (or consciously) judgment and fear made you stuff it away somewhere out of sight? Yep, I did!

I published a small journal called “Moments of Love” before Christmas 2012 and I just pulled it out to write in it last week!  I literally stuffed it behind my son’s bookshelf.  I created the journal to be a “movement” to remember, share and give more love. I proclaimed that I would write in this little journal every time I experienced a moment of love.  But that wasn’t happening and I haven’t even promoted the journal to give other people the chance to do the same!

I’d think of it every now and then, but It wasn’t until my ex-husband criticized me about it again for the umpteenth time that I pulled it out and said to myself “you know what, I have to give this a chance and see what it does.”

I’ve been filling it out every day, sometimes multiple times a day and it’s doing exactly what I hoped it would do!  How easily we forget our moments of greatness or just funny memories that make us smile. I encourage you to start this habit.  If not with my journal, create one yourself.  As I write this, I am smiling thinking about some of the funny things I noted that my son said this week.

You can preview the first 12 pages of “Moments of Love” by clicking on the preview link on this page here and you can view my author spotlight  page here.

Stay inspired. Stay curious!

Lots of love,

Melanie

My mission: “to help single moms maneuver the unique emotional and mental blocks that every single mom must inevitably face, to achieve financial freedom and create wealth in all areas of their life.” 

Join me on Facebook!

The Burning Boat

Today I witnessed Divine brilliance. My 6 year old son displayed “Godly sorrow,” which is something that I only learned about 7 days ago.

Last Monday, I attended the Greenroom in Ann Arbor.  The Greenroom is a “new, unconventional, creative movement geared at using all forms of the arts to communicate the message of God’s uncontainable love for the world.”  I’ve only attended Church maybe 5x in my lifetime until I was introduced to the Greenroom on January 7, 2013.  Finally! A God-like place that makes my heart feel super light.

Since I’ve only been to Church a handful of times, I have little to no religious training or understanding, but naturally I’ve developed a deep love and appreciation for our creator, who I believe to be God.

As I was sitting at the Greenroom last Monday night [in a barn with miss-matched chairs arranged in a semi-circle with lights just over a small floor-stage], the Pastor Scott Crownover gave the floor over to a guest of the Greenroom who has been attending since they opened.  He began to talk about the difference of Godly sorrow vs Worldly sorrow and I didn’t quite understand until it hit me that I feel “worldly sorrow” for my fears of inadequacy.

I thought to myself “WOW!” I am sorrowful for what I am not. I am sorrowful for why I’m not better than I am; sorrowful for being stuck at times … but when I feel “Godly sorrow” I feel sorry to God that I don’t fully appreciate the creation that I am. When I feel sorrowful to God, I can say “Dear God, please forgive me. I am your heavenly creation. I am more than enough in your name.”

The difference in the way my heart feels tells me that Godly sorrow is healing, worldly sorrow is not.

Today, my 6 year old son was really upset that he couldn’t find a lego guy (from the set he got yesterday for his birthday).  Knowing that it couldn’t be far, I told him to keep his eyes open, it must be around here somewhere. He became frustrated and said “I’m a loser, I’m not a lego genius” which is very unlike him to speak badly about himself.  Right in that instant, I said look behind you.  A big smile came across his face, but I called him over to me and said “please apologize for saying such mean words yourself.” He did and he appreciated my suggestion.  A few minutes later, to my amazement, he apologized to God!

I said “that was nice, what made you do that.” He said ” I apologized to God because he is in my heart and he created me.  It was one of the most beautiful and profound moments because he also has zero religious teaching, but he knows enough to know that God (our creator) loves us and to love ourselves is to love God and to love God is to love ourselves.

The morale of the story is that we are a creation of God, just as beautiful and perfect as Nature. To speak badly of ourselves is worldly sorrow, which only furthers our dysfunction and pain. Only Godly sorrow can redeem us worthy and adequate.  So, if you’re struggling with judgment and fear, are you expressing worldly sorrow or are you willing to express Godly sorrow?

Worldly sorrow is a burning boat.  Godly sorrow reinforces the potential and wholesomeness that we already are, whether we acknowledge it or not.  We’ll likely never feel “perfect,” we’ll likely always have fear but we do have a place in our hearts to come back to, to feel wholesome.

Stay curious. Stay inspired!

Melanie

My mission: “to help single moms maneuver the unique emotional and mental blocks that every single mom must inevitably face, to achieve financial freedom and create wealth in all areas of their life.” 

Join me on Facebook!

BREAKING THROUGH

Do yourself a favor and watch this!!

Inspired Living Mobile App

Watch as Tony Robbins reminds us that our next “Breakthrough” is just a thought away..

Believe for Great things with the Inspired Living App

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